So, in the last couple weeks i have had some really tough decisions that i have had to make. Couple that with the fact that all of papers for the semester were due Thursday, I was deployed to another resort, and we had our winter formal on Monday, and very few other things were done, like cleaning my room and this blog. The cleaning will hopefully happen as soon as I'm done here. (hey, i have my priorities. :) )
Being here in Florida has done so much for me. I've grown as a person so much. I've become much more daring, more relaxed, not quite so stressed all the time. I feel like i have changed for the better in so many ways. It's been incredible. i came here hoping for that to happen, expecting it to happen, and willing to allow it to happen, and it did. i couldn't be happier about it. I've met some incredible people, and our stories together are not done yet. I have the most incredible managers at work and i don't want to work somewhere else. I've been put on the magical moments team and was recently put on another team at work, the camera cast, and only person was chosen from each department, and that was me. I have so much going for me here.
But (don't you hate that word?) I still have two classes left to finish at Grand Valley, and to answer the next question, no they cannot be taken online. It's not worth transferring to some school here for two classes, especially when they will probably add more classes for me to take anyway to complete their degree program. Besides that, my dream has been to have a degree from Grand Valley since as long as I can remember. That is really important to me. So, what do I do? Leave this place that absolutely love and these projects I've been selected for in order to finish school, or give up the dream of GV degree and probably go to school even longer?
January 6th I will be coming back to Grand Rapids. I've really struggled with this decision, but I do think it is the right thing to do. i have the option of staying on at yacht and beach club as seasonal, so I would still be a cast member and could come down during spring break or long weekends and work a few hours. Before i leave, i will be setting up a meet and greet with convention services through a manager i met about a week ago. We were talking about what i wanted to eventually get into and i told her meeting and event planning, and she gave me her number and said that she would love to set up a meet and greet with me and convention services because she thinks I'd be a great fit there. Me! She, having talked with me for less than an hour, thinks I'm good enough! I've never had someone say things like that or feel that way about me until I came here. Here, I'm good enough, just as I am. Back home i don't feel like i am good enough. i feel like i am constantly having to prove myself to everyone, my family, my friends, my church, my job, and even then I'm still not good enough.
I think that's another lesson I've learned here. I am good enough. Back home I feel like no one sees my potential even when I am busting my butt doing and being everything to everyone. Here, I don't have to work as hard to impress people- they see me for me. They love me for me. I'm worth it. Damn it, I'm good enough!
Coming home will be tough, but I will get through it. I always do. I will finish my classes and then hopefully be able to come back to Orlando once i graduate. At least that's the plan. Knowing that there is the option to come back makes this decision so much easier. It isn't all or nothing. I still need to find an internship back home, and that will be my mission this week (that and getting my christmas presents wrapped and shipped and my cards mailed- oh boy...). Coming home will help me though because i'll be able to save up some money, work on getting a car (anyone care to help me with that?) and get my debt paid off from the irresponsibleness of being young with a credit card (again, if anyone wants to help with that, I'm not too proud!). If i can get my debt paid off, which is going to be tough but i can do it, then I can move back to Orlando with only my student loan debt. I'm so glad to know that i can come back.
Home is going to be different though. Be forwarned: I am not the girl that left in August. I have become much more outspoken (believe it or not). i feel more comfortable in my own skin, which makes a huge difference. Don't expect to talk to the same passive Calli that just takes whatever people through at her and doesn't say anything back. I'm not her. i've learned to stand up for myself and say what i mean. I'm not going to be walked over anymore. I'm learning that "no" is a complete sentence. i feel like I'm more fun too, more willing to just go and do whatever, be silly. I hope that you can see the differences in me when i come home.
I'm not really looking forward to the next couple weeks. Christmas without my family will be hard. Saying goodbye to this place will be even harder. In the mean time, I'm going to enjoy this short time i have left to the fullest. i have to! Disney wasn't coined "the happiest place on earth" for no reason afterall. 
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