random ramblings

So, if you ever wanted a glimpse into my head, here's your chance. Fair warning, it's kind of scary in here. I tend to have the most random thoughts buzzing around in my head at all times, most of them don't connect well, and the often sound just plain weird. I'll try to keep them focused on Disney and my time here, but you've been warned- I may drift off. :)

random thought 1- you cannot see stars here! It's really kind of depressing. Back home, you can walk out and see the stars in the sky. In Orlando, you can't. That's one thing I really miss.

random thought 2- when you work for disney, the day of the week means nothing. The fact that today was friday or that this coming monday is labor day means absolutely nothing. It's all about "do I work today or do I have today off?" The actual day- no one cares.

random thought 3- I so wish I had a car here. Relying on the bus is such a pain the butt, especially when they don't take you all the places you need or want to go. I don't mind having to take it work or home if i can't get one of my co-workers, sorry, cast members, to bring me home. It's difficult when you need to go to Target or to the mall, or just want to get something to eat. I have to wait and see if any of my roommates with cars are going anywhere and bum a ride with them. It's very frustrating. I think I can honestly say that if i just had a car here I'd be completely set and happy.

random thought 4- i am literally shrinking. my need for the mall is not because I'm a girl- it's because my clothes seriously don't fit anymore. I put a skirt on the other day, and i could slide it right off without unbuttoning it. a couple pairs of shorts, if I put my phone in my pocket i start sagging. It's not a pretty sight. I'd be more excited about this if I could actually get to the store and get some new clothes.

random thought 5- this may be a little early to say this, but I have no desire whatsoever to go home. i could stay here in a second. I love my job, I work with fantastic people, I like the area, there's a lot to do (if i had a car) and the weather doesn't bother me. i do not want to go home in January, and will probably do whatever i can to stay here.

random thought 6- I feel myself changing already for the better since I've been here. I feel much more laid back and relaxed. Even at work. I goof around more and joke with people and just don't feel so tense. I'm not quite so guarded as i was before. I don't feel like i have to be so controlled all the time. i think what is really happening is that I'm finally getting the chance to be the college kid that i never was. With all my surgeries, i just existed in the world like i had to to survive. i wasn't like anyone else and didn't get to have those experiences of being carefree. Now i am getting that chance. It's a wonderful feeling.

That's my randoms for now. I'm sure I'll come up with more as soon as this posts, so I'll keep a list. I love being here. i just saw "the festival of the lion king" yesterday with one of my roommates, and i feel like I'm in that circle of life, you know that part of the song where it talks about moving through "dispair and hope, through faith and love, til we find our place on the path unwinding"? I feel like that's where i am, finally getting past that phase of dispair and moving on to the hope. I knew i wanted this experience to change me, and i feel like it already is. and for the better. My heart is so full.